


careful fear and dead devotion

by sweetheartbitterheart



Series: we flew [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:26:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24330538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetheartbitterheart/pseuds/sweetheartbitterheart
Summary: It is such a little thing, such a minuscule moment in the many they've shared, that Theon almost doesn't want to recognize it.just some modern AU angst and hurt/comfort
Relationships: Theon Greyjoy/Jeyne Poole
Series: we flew [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756534
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	careful fear and dead devotion

**Author's Note:**

> two months into quarantine and i finally feel good enough about something i've written to publish it
> 
> basically in this modern AU, theon was still abused by ramsay (who i imagined as some scumbag wannabe gangster) but he got out. at one point jeyne had fallen on really hard times after the murder of her father and losing contact with sansa/the starks/her family and got sucked into ramsay's crowd, but left before he could really fully abuse her too. theon and her still bonded.
> 
> title from Don't Swallow the Cap by The National

It is such a little thing, such a minuscule moment in the many they've shared, that Theon almost doesn't want to recognize it. It physically pains him to realize what it means. He never thought he moved that much when he talked, that he gestured too enthusiastically with his hands, especially when he was worked up.

There he was, complaining about something Asha said and throwing his hands up wildly, and Jeyne reared back so suddenly, eyes wide with fear and resignation. She brought her hands up to protect herself before she seemed to realize what she was doing. Theon's body filled with ice. When they made eye contact, her face was red with shame and tears.

For some dumb fucking reason, Theon believed Jeyne had never bore the brunt of Ramsay's cruelty. She hadn't known the bastard that long, was never truly alone with him. They only had a few brief encounters before Sansa had caught wind of it and pulled her best friend back to herself and back to safety.

Theon felt indebted to the Starks for a myriad of reasons but he felt especially indebted to Sansa.

Jeyne is apologizing, her voice small, "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know, I-" A hiccuping sob bursting from her throat.

Theon has pulled away from her, to give her space, to let her breathe. He feels nauseous at the thought of Jeyne being afraid of him.

"Jeyne, Jeyne, it's alright," he's saying, his voice quiet and calm, " _I'm_ sorry. I should've been more aware of my movements."

The tears have lessened but she still looks shaky, her gaze unfocused and her hands clenched into fists in her lap. Tentatively, Theon reaches out and places one hand over hers. She grasps it tightly, inhales and exhales several times.

He doesn't know how long they sit there together, Jeyne slowly coming back to the present and Theon keeping a steady presence beside her.

The next time she speaks, she sounds more like herself, more like the Jeyne he has come to know and love so well. "I don't know what that was. I don't know why I reacted like that," she says.

Her eyes are such a lovely shade of brown, so warm and inviting, but they're giving Theon an almost beseeching look at the moment. His heart gives a pitiful ache.

"It's okay, Jeyne. I understand," he tells her.

She shakes her head. "But I don't."

Theon takes a deep breath before asking, "It was Ramsay, wasn't it?"

Jeyne's grip on his hand tightens and she nods. "Yes, but it wasn't… only him. There was someone else first, a guy, freshman year. It didn't-it didn't last long." It takes her some effort to get these words out. There are fresh tears falling freely from her eyes and she quickly wipes them away.

Theon wants to desperately know more, wants to know every detail, despite how crushing this new information is, but he'd rather swallow knives than ask Jeyne to say more when she isn't ready.

"I'm so sorry," he can only say.

She nods once more, "I've buried it so deep, sometimes I can trick myself that it didn't happen, or that it happened to someone else."

"Ah, I know that method very well," he tries to say this lightly, anything to make her smile again.

She squeezes her eyes shut for a long moment before leaning her head against his shoulder. "I know you'd never… You know better than anyone. You're the only one," her voice is small again but no longer full of pain.

Overwhelmed with emotions, Theon can only swallow the lump in his throat and nuzzle his face against Jeyne's hair, pressing a light kiss to the crown of her head.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i suck at endings


End file.
